I have been reluctant to actually post this page, perhaps because it is about me rather than Jill.  I publish it in the interest of keeping this blog honest as well as to keep those who have followed this communication updated.

It has been almost six years since I first noticed anything amiss with Jill, four and a half years since we began looking for answers, and three years since the diagnosis of an organically based, degenerative, terminal, dementia.  It has been a long, wearing, and difficult road for all of us, Jill first and then family, friends, and loved ones.  The journey promises to go on for a while yet with those who love Jill providing her with the best quality of life possible.

This summer I have intentionally embarked on a course of re-creation and re-invention.  I am seeking more balance between easing Jill’s journey, and beginning to re-invent a life for myself.  I am reclaiming my place among the living.  I have started working out at the fitness center of the Marcus Jewish Community Center (where Jill’s day care is located).  I am attempting to eat healthier and lose a little of the weight I have put on the last four years.  I am going on a solo trip to Scotland, the first time I have ever gone on a vacation by myself.  I am allowing myself the opportunity of a social life independent of Jill.  All of these things are part of my attempt to re-claim a healthy balance in my life.  I understand that I cannot care for Jill unless I care for myself.  I refuse to let this disease take two of us; it is enough that I cannot stop it’s progression in Jill.  The effort has proved bewildering, bitter-sweet, guilt-inducing, and empowering.   Whether it be right or wrong, it feels like the correct course.